Oh yes for one day only WHAWN is back with a Summer Holiday Facts Special, with a contribution from the one and only JEM. What are we waiting for... lets get on it..
- Cockroaches are actually spying devices employed by the local FBI to spy on forgien tourists. Hence being undestructuable.
- The rules of "international dating rules" and "what happens on tour stays on tour" doesn't happen due to the cockroach spying devices. Plus stuff always gets posted on faceyb.
- Lucky lucky men aren't actually lucky. If they were lucky they would be selling you the real thing. They're actually unlucky men but take offence to the phrase "unlucky" hence the silent "un".
- Ever wonder why alcohol is so cheap abroad- its really paint stripper. Think about how cheap turps is in this country and put two and two together.
- Airline food is designed to keep you alive until you reach your destination, it is NOT meant to be tasty, nutritious, easily digestible or even recognisable.
- When flying a 'No-Frills airline' please remember - the staff are not paid to give a flying f**k.
- The reason why the door to the cockpit is always locked is due to the fact that the pilots hate people and don't want to associate with them.
- Another reason why the cockpit door is always locked is actually because they're having great parties in there, with all the best food, champagne, and strippers - and they don't want you to know it.
- They will pull the curtain that seperates cattle class from the rest of the plane back during landing just to tantalise you with how well rested everyone else looks after a 12 hour red-eye flight.
- Hotel star ratings are actually based on celebs who have stopped there. The higher the star the more celebs have stopped there.
- No foreigner can walk on hot sand without looking like a fool. You can judge how long people have been on holiday by how fast they are walking and how pink they are:
Walking fast + white skin = first day
Walking fast + pink skin = first week
Walking slow + pink/brown skin = second week
Walking slow + brown skin = third week
- Regardless of where you are in the world you will never ever be able to escape Sky Sports- there will be numerous bars playing it 24/7.
- Sunbed wars is recognised as a international sport.. people will resort to dirty tactics to remove towels etc just to find the best spot in the shade like a preditor. If you listen very carefully when your by the pool you can hear David Attenborough commentating on it.
So remember if you follow these tips, your sure to have a fab summer holiday!!!
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