Doubt...

...to be uncertain about; consider questionable or unlikely; hesitate to believe.

...to distrust.

...be apprehensive about.

...to be uncertain about something; be undecided in opinion or belief.

 

I initally started this blog with the whole air of mystery around me, none of you knew who I was, what I looked like, what I did for a living, where I live, nor who JEM was. I then decided to occasionally post pictures of me, let yous into my life on here- something which I think I am starting to majorly doubt. I have met some fab people through the blog, people who I talk to all the time on Twitter who I have no problems what so ever with telling them what I do for a living, where I live, telling them about scummy little boys who mess with my head etc. But do I want to post it on my blog???

 

However I am starting to become increasingly disheartened with my blog, I felt like this before Christmas, however I thought that this was due to the fact that Christmas is always a busy time for me, and that I was ready for the break from work. To be honest things aren't that well at work (think you can tell via my random tweets) and the last thing I want to do on a night after spending a day on the computer at work, is go home and write a blog post. I feel like my spark has gone- what is the point in me writing about my excitement for an upcoming Mac collection, or the latest item that Topshop has in- things which I want to write about, when everyone else has wrote about it. At the end of the day if I want to write about something, you know I will, however am I just writing for the sake of writing?

 

I hate seeing pictures of me on the blog, those close to me know how criticial I am of myself and I don't want to attract criticism from people who I don't know. Those last lot pictures of me on here, I can't even look at as all what I see is massive thunder thighs and I feel physically disgusted with myself. People ask if I will do FOTD posts- no way, I'd rather stick a fork in my eye than have to post close up pictures on my face. I'm organising a blogger meet up, and I'm nervous about meeting these other fab bloggers in case they take an instant dislike to me, what happens if they don't like Durham, what if they think its a waste of a day/night out. Those are my concerns.

 

I don't know- this is how I feel at the moment, I know this post doesn't really have any sense or logic to it as I'm keep contradicting myself. I have 2 posts scheduled to be posted within the next week and then I will post the final information up about the Blogger Meet Up, and then I think it may be time to have a prolonged break from "Who is She". I do love reading everyone's blogs, take inspiration from them, get new ideas for make up looks, ideas on how to wear a certain item of clothing. Although maybe change is good, and the blog is getting me out of my comfort zone?? Ahhh I really don't know. I just know that if I want to be criticised I know where to go- I don't need it on my blog or twitter.

 

xxxx